JOE’S DREAM

This is an actual email Joe wrote about his “dream” (the vision he had) of what he wanted to do.  He sent it to his dad on May 24, 2015, just 10 days short of his death…

 

Dad,

Growing up, I didn’t have a dream on wanting to be someone or do something. When I was younger, I would do something for a moment or two and then I’ll just randomly stop or become less interested into it. Of course, I still have that problem now but not as frequent as before. Around the first couple of years in high school, everything changed and I decided on what I want to do / what I see myself doing 1-2 years from now. I want to be an entertainer, just with poetry. In a few years from now, I see myself performing at wedding events; for a couple of years, I would like to be a wedding performer. I would like to be an entertainer / performer because I just like being on stage. I like the whole “eyes on me” kind of thing. When I’m up on stage or in front of an audience, I feel like I can be myself. Express all that emotion I have stored up inside of me and bring it out to the light. Not like I don’t like the attention, I do…but that’s not what I care about the most. Nor the money that comes with it.

 

Ever since high school, when I first started performing; I only cared about two things: the message and how it’s helping me personally. I didn’t care about the popularity or anything else like that. I want every poem to touch someone, I want someone to relate to every poem I perform.  I want to change people; how they think, how they feel about any situation that they may be going through. I try to perform poems that people can relate to or may have felt that way before. Besides being a wedding performer, I’ve always wanted to be a speaker at not only my old high school, but other high schools as well. I would talk strictly to the seniors, yearly. I would talk about the importance of going to college, life after high school, friends, and of course my life without college. Because sometimes I regret not going to college / not taking high school as serious…I just would like to motivate them. Show them how life is when your friends move on to college, and you’re left at home. Tell them that just because you’re close in high school, doesn’t mean you’ll be close forever.

 

What amazes me the most is that when friends or acquaintances come to me for advice, I’d always tell them something you once told me… 9 times out of 10… It’s always the first thing that comes to mind. 10 years from now, I still see myself doing the same thing. Of course branching out to other ideas like church performances, schools, concerts, etc. By this time, I’ll be performing with one of the top wedding industries in the world. Performing about love, talking about love; is easy… Something everybody can relate to. I don’t have to worry about taking something out or putting something extra in. I can just perform it the way I want to, and everyone will be satisfied or overwhelmed. There’s no risks.

 

Performing poetry helps me personally in many different ways. It helps me talk in front of people. It helps me make eye contact with everyone. It helps me stay focused, even when others aren’t paying attention or when people are smiling / crying or doing whatever. It helps my fear of something that might go wrong. Especially when I forget a line or two, it helps me stay composed and not freak out because I don’t know what I’m doing. All these things, are something we face every day and performing helps me overcome them.

 

I don’t know what it is. Maybe I just need to grow into myself a little bit more, but for the 3-5 minutes I’m on that stage or performing; everyone in the audience gets to see the real Joseph. Sometimes I get so into it, that when it’s over… I forget that I was even saying anything. I feel different when I’m up there. Like…that’s what I was made for…